Weak

I've grown weary of this part you're playing.
I struggle against the role you've given me.
Why is it that your voice still haunts me after all this time?
You turned away
Left me as a shell
Broken & hollowed out.

And yet, here you are once again
Hovering @ the edges
Just there enough so I know it.
I want you to let me be.
I want to send you scattering away, bruised words in your ear.
I want to be strong enough to make you go.
I want to be granite,
Steel,
Iron,
Stone.
I want to be the chill you left with me.
I want to sweep you away,
Ashes on the floor,
Effortlessly. Thoughtlessly.

But I am not the marble statue I long to be. I cannot shake you that easily.

My heart cannot keep its distance.
When you call, it soars.
I hate the power you still have over me. I want to crawl out of my skin to get away from myself.

But you still call
And my heart ignites
And I am left feeling weak.