Hollow

My insides are hollow once again.
The void I learned to ignore is back.
I'd forgotten about it
in the days of warmth and steadiness.
When you were here,
you filled it in.
You nestled in,
a perfect, pretty fit.
The missing piece had been found.

But you've gone away,
as easily as you came in,
and left things empty again.
It had been so long,
those days of honey & nectar,
the nothingness seemed foreign.
It overwhelmed.
In my agony, I could no longer remember how I lived hollow all those years before you.
I twisted in the misery of my miserable heart,
the gaping maw open inside me again.

You, who knew of the emptiness that had once lived inside me, who knew the tender way that you stitched me to your side...
You knew but didn't care.
You ripped me @ the seams,
one quick, fluid motion,
and with that,
tossed me aside.

So the hollowness in me is back and now it's here to stay.
This time, I have learned my lesson.
Empty hurts,
but love is too dangerous.

Weak

I've grown weary of this part you're playing.
I struggle against the role you've given me.
Why is it that your voice still haunts me after all this time?
You turned away
Left me as a shell
Broken & hollowed out.

And yet, here you are once again
Hovering @ the edges
Just there enough so I know it.
I want you to let me be.
I want to send you scattering away, bruised words in your ear.
I want to be strong enough to make you go.
I want to be granite,
Steel,
Iron,
Stone.
I want to be the chill you left with me.
I want to sweep you away,
Ashes on the floor,
Effortlessly. Thoughtlessly.

But I am not the marble statue I long to be. I cannot shake you that easily.

My heart cannot keep its distance.
When you call, it soars.
I hate the power you still have over me. I want to crawl out of my skin to get away from myself.

But you still call
And my heart ignites
And I am left feeling weak.