I am in love with a man who is not there,
who exists almost entirely in my mind.
He comes to me in between the moments of his real life,
the life I am not a part of,
and at those times, he is real.
He holds me tight & whispers sweet things into my hair & I believe this fantasy is reality.
But then he goes
quietly back to that real life,
leaving me hidden in his imagination,
and I have only memories of our time.
I cannot curl up beside him & feel his steady warmth,
cannot breathe in his familiar smell.
I build our lives on dreams & wishes,
fairytales I spin out of whole cloth.
None of it is real,
except for the part where he has stolen my heart completely.

Powerless

I know that nothing good can come from any of this,
yet I can't pull myself away.
Your siren song is my undoing
and I am pulled deeper into your captivity.
I should know better & I should tear myself free from your hold on me.
But something keeps me coming back for more.
I am powerless against you.

Light

You make me feel so light
like air
as if I'm made of feathers & fairy dust.
When we are together time stands still & everything seems right.

I am in love with a man who isn't there.
He stands as an apparition, a fantasy.
He isn't real.
He is what I have made him to be.

Somewhere else

This bed is lonely w/o you in it,
And I am cold w/o your body next to mine.
I wish you were here for me to curl up next to & wrap my arms around.
Instead you are somewhere else.

This is where

This is where I want to be,
Curled up next to you,
Feeling your chest rise & fall,
Your scent catching in my hair.

This is where I feel complete,
In the safety of your arms,
Where I can let down the public facade,
And be myself.

This is where my heart belongs,
Here in love with you,
Letting you in the secret places of my mind,
And kept safe within your love.

Again

I am in the comfort of your arms and everything seems so right.
This secret we are keeping together,
does it make the flame burn hotter?
Your beautiful body next to mine makes my fears disappear & I feel like I am home.
We were here once before,
and you walked away from this great love.
Will you walk away again?