Sunday, August 23, 2015

Things change

I would have loved you until the end of time.
I would have cherished every moment of our lives together.
I would have celebrated your accomplishments, mourned your disappointments.
I would have ridden out the storms of life next to you, so you would never have had to face them alone.
I would have only seen the good in you and helped you become the best man you could be.

But you pushed me away & rejected what I had offered.
You walked away from everything I wanted to give.
You were impatient & left when things weren't perfect, when things seemed to be different than you'd expected.
You didn't want me around.

So now I don't see all the things I loved about you.
I don't see all the things that make you a good man.
Instead, I see the callousness you displayed.
The rough words, the unkind thoughts.
The way people were never good enough for you.
The way you only saw people's flaws.
The hardness of your heart, the cutting words you'd say.
How careless you were with other people, as if they exist only for you to use.

I realized how wrong I was about you.
I was fooled by the glossy exterior.
And now, I can never be certain if anything you ever said was real because I can't be sure that I ever really knew you.

So maybe the day will come that you'll enter into my life again,
You'll want to pretend everything is fine.
Maybe you'll want to have me again.
But how could I ever know who you are? How could I ever trust you again when you hurt me so badly in the past?

And maybe you'll be sincere,
You'll have realized the error of your ways,
You'll want to have me by your side like I'd promised once before.
But you may be sad to discover my heart has become as hard as you became & you have missed out.

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