Doubt

I miss you with every breath I take.
My heart hurts with every beat.
Every moment I am w/o you feels like drowning.
I am struggling to stay above the heartache, fighting against the current of sadness that threatens to engulf me.
But every second that passes feels like an eternity & every moment hurts a little more.
I am wishing for a miracle that we can be together again.
But every day of silence
Makes me doubt that I'll ever see you again.

I can see now how cleverly you played me.
How with cunning plans & gentle words you reached out & stole my peace from me.
How you came to suck me dry of all the marrow & leave me as only a shell.

It is with different eyes I now view the things you said & the way you made me feel. None of it was real, it was all pretend.

My heart hurts too much to believe
That you're truly gone.
It clings ferociously to the hope that you will one day realize
How much I love you
And you will come back to me.

Ahh I was so foolish,
Thinking that anything would be different.
Every time you come into my life, I bleed. Why do I keep letting you back in?

You are my drug. You are my dream. You are my trap. You have me captured. Why can't you just leave me alone?

And so I love you

And so I love you.
Deeply & fearfully-
my heart can break at any moment!-
but without reprieve.
I cannot escape it-
I have run before
but once again I am captured.
So I have given in.
I have allowed you to take me by storm, against my better judgment,
to turn my heart over to you again.
I have thrown caution to the wind,
hoping my heart will not be torn apart a second time.

The Loneliness

It's growing harder to pretend that I am fine w/ the status quo.
It's more difficult to accept this reality.
My heart cries out to have you,
my thoughts are constantly about you.
I need you more & more every day but I cannot have you.
The loneliness engulfs me some nights.

Whole

He comes to me & I am fulfilled.
The lonely part of my heart is gone.
He smiles @ me & I come undone.
All the magic in the world in his eyes.
We are so fitting together,
like puzzle pieces who have finally found their match.
And in his arms, everything is perfect.
Our love makes me whole.