I am in love with a man who is not there,
who exists almost entirely in my mind.
He comes to me in between the moments of his real life,
the life I am not a part of,
and at those times, he is real.
He holds me tight & whispers sweet things into my hair & I believe this fantasy is reality.
But then he goes
quietly back to that real life,
leaving me hidden in his imagination,
and I have only memories of our time.
I cannot curl up beside him & feel his steady warmth,
cannot breathe in his familiar smell.
I build our lives on dreams & wishes,
fairytales I spin out of whole cloth.
None of it is real,
except for the part where he has stolen my heart completely.

Powerless

I know that nothing good can come from any of this,
yet I can't pull myself away.
Your siren song is my undoing
and I am pulled deeper into your captivity.
I should know better & I should tear myself free from your hold on me.
But something keeps me coming back for more.
I am powerless against you.

Light

You make me feel so light
like air
as if I'm made of feathers & fairy dust.
When we are together time stands still & everything seems right.

I am in love with a man who isn't there.
He stands as an apparition, a fantasy.
He isn't real.
He is what I have made him to be.

Somewhere else

This bed is lonely w/o you in it,
And I am cold w/o your body next to mine.
I wish you were here for me to curl up next to & wrap my arms around.
Instead you are somewhere else.